Friday, August 6, 2010

The good, the bad and the ugly

It's been a ROUGH couple of months around here, to put it mildly. The kids are at a REALLY tough age. And quite honestly, at this particular point in time, we have WAY more bad days than good. They spend most of their days fighting over toys, spots on the couch, who gets to sit by who in the stroller, what game they want to play, etc. Nothing is simple, everything is a battle, and by the end of night, we are all beat down, and more than one of us is usually crying. Jake and I stay up way too late, because I know as soon as we go to sleep, we will be up all night with someone (oh yeah, did I mention Hudson wakes up every one or two hours through out the night), and then, we wake up for the next day, just to do it all over again. I have debated for a long time whether to write about all this, but this is a journal for my kids, and when they look back at it, I want them to see and remember everything, the good, the bad and the ugly. I don't want them to read this when they have kids and think it was all sunshine, roses, unicorns and rainbows. It's not! It is hard; really, really, really hard. Harder than I ever thought it would be. There are many nights I go to bed feeling like I failed at the only thing I ever wanted to do, raise a family. Did I ever think I would four kids in less than two years, no. Did I ever think my kid would be the one screaming wildly at Wal-Mart, no. Did I ever think people would stop and stare at me and kids anytime we walk into any establishment, putting extra pressure on how I think they should behave, no. Did I ever think I would walk out of "Vera Bradley" because my oldest threw something hitting a kind old lady in the leg, no. But the truth is, this is our world. I wish I could be one of those parents you see at the park or the pool, who just sit and let their kid do whatever they want, it would be so much easier that way. But I'm not, I expect my kids to follow the rules, listen when I'm talking to them, and respect the people around them. That was / is never going to change, so it seemed like I was fighting an endless battle. And then I got a break, and it came at the perfect time.

My mom invited me to Las Vegas. Just her and me, no kids, no husbands, just us. And I must say, it is the best, most refreshing thing I have done since our kids were born, for both me and the kids. It was the first time I had totally let go and didn't worry one time about the kids. Were they behaving themselves? Were they eating well? Were they sleeping well? Were they listening? Did Hudson take his inhaler? Were they happy? Were they having fun? Were they being safe around the pool? Were they being nice to their cousins? All the things that run through my head on a daily basis, I just let go. Which for me, is really, really tough. But I knew they were being well taken care of, so I did it, I let go, and totally enjoyed it. In four days, I read two and a half books, I saw three movies, I saw "La Reve", I laid by the pool, I sat down and ate by myslf, I slept great, spent some alone time with my Mom, and came back a whole new person. The past three days, have been the best days we have had in a LONG time. The kids are happier, they are sleeping great, they are behaving, and not fighting! As I type this, sitting in my big comfy chair, the kids are playing peacefully with each other on the floor with an occasional dance break to a song on the "I-Bot". We just needed a break, from eachother, from our daily routine, from everything we were used to. And with the break, I've come back a better Mom, a better wife, and a better person.

And with faces like this, who wouldn't want to be happy and enjoy the little moments!




8 comments:

Ashhog said...

I know how you feel!! Glad you got a little break!

Erin Zacharda said...

So glad you wrote this. I thought I was the only one who felt like that. Nice to know that a small break away from the kiddos can help! Glad you got to get away.
I have 20 month old triplets and have been following your blog for a long time. It's nice to read what you've been through so I get an idea of what to expect. Thanks!

Barbara Manatee said...

Oh! So glad you got some time away to refresh yourself and start anew! Hoping for more "great days' ahead!

Susan said...

Not only is this a good post for your kids to read one day but it is a good posts for moms with young children in general. We all need to be reminded that our kids are NOT perfect. I know, we all come into the path of a mom here or there, that truly believe that their kids are perfect. We don't have to say anything, do we, we know better and they will too ONE day. We love our kids through their great days and through their bad but sometimes those bad days just are bad! You worded it best, they simply beat you down. Yah for your mom to invite you on a must needed rest weekend. She knew because she is a mom!!! All moms need a break now and then to do what you described. Recharge and be so ready for those wonderful kids. I don't know you...I only read your blog because I will admit, I was intrigued with how many in so fast of time you did have =) Your energy has amazed since I started reading. I now have teenagers and I wish I could tell you it gets easier but as older and wiser moms tell us, their problems only get bigger and they are right. Teens beat you down to but I love them and this is life!!! Hang tough.

Tasha said...

I've been reading your blog for some time now, and I want to thank you for writing this. My triplets are almost 3, and I have a 1-year-old "surprise". I feel like I'm reading about my life right now!!! We've been having a lot of bad days for the past few months, and I'm either breaking up fights or picking up whatever they've drug out. At any moment during the day, someone is crying, and at least one of my boys wakes up during the night...at least one. I understand exactly what you're going through. Hang in there. You're a wonderful mother, and you inspire me to be a better mother (and take them out by myself). We all need a break some times. Maybe Vegas for me?????

Tasha said...

Sounds like there are a lot of triplet mommies who needed to read this post! I also have 2 year old triplets and fell exactly the same way. Only most blogs that I read only post the happy things, all the things those mommies somehow do with their kids ect. I walk away wondering what in the world I do wrong and why am I the only one feeling like I can't do this job?? So thanks, I hope your good days continue and am happy for your break!

Janelle said...

My son is up all night long too (at 13 months). It can be so hard and I can only imagine how much tougher it is for you with 4 kids compared to my 1. I hope your little guy starts sleeping for you soon. You deserve it!

Brandi Colby said...

I have ONE child and I feel like this. Thank you for being so honest about how hard it is. People forget that it's not all sunshine and roses being a parent... even if it is the one thing we ever wanted. A lot of parents put up the "everything is going fantastic" front. I think if everyone admitted it wasn't super easy than maybe we wouldn't be so hard on ourselves when things aren't going great. :) So glad you got a vacation. Every mommy needs a good break.