Thursday, August 19, 2010

Converstions with Ella

A little background. Ella is girly. I'm talking, pedicures, jewelry, flowery, fluff, shopping, non-physical working, laundry folding, cooking, emotional, drama queen girly. Not sure where she gets this. I'm not girly, I'm no tomboy, but I JUST recently learned to accessorize and do my hair, thanks to my brother's girlfriend. And she has always been like this, since birth, it is CRAZY! Now all three boys, are workin' dudes. Hammers, drills, screwdrivers, weed-eaters, mowers, blowers, you name it, they know what it is, and they know how to use it.

So last Saturday morning, Jake and I were talking about what all we needed to do that day. There were a few errands and some outside work. So everyone is getting dressed and talking about who is going to do what, and the boys are pumped. Huddy's favorite phrase is "Let's get crankin'". So Ella is doddling, did I mention she is ridiculously slow, and Huddy tells her, "C'mon Ella, we gotta get crankin', there's lots of work to do outside!". Ella tells the boys in an indignant tone, "I'm NOT going to get crankin' outside, it's too hot, I'm going to run errands with Mom". So the boys head outside, and gather our stuff to leave the house. We are brushing our teeth, getting ready and Ella says, "Ugh, Mom, I don't know WHY those boys like to get crankin' outside. It is hot and you get all dirty. Let's let the boys do all the work outside, and we should go check and see if the pedicure place is open." I proceed to tell her, that we have work to get done that day and we will not be getting a pedicure, which causes a total and complete meltdown. Her toenail and fingernail polish is falling off, she needs a bow in her hair, she can't find her bracelet, and she IS. NOT. WORKING. OUT. SIDE! "OK", I tell her, "First, chill out!". Shockingly, the tears immediately the tears stop and normal conversation resumes. (Maybe she'll make us some money one day with those tears). We decide that maybe she can go get a pedicure next week, we will get here a clippy before we go out in public, we will find her bracelet, and I promise her she does not have to work outside. This seems to temporarily appease her, not that she didn't ask me thirty two time what time the pedicure place opens! She is a hot mess that one, but a cute one! Oh dear, I wonder what the teenage years will hold, I'm not sure how to handle all the drama and girlyness!

PS: Thanks to everyone for all your sweet comments on my last post. Glad to know we are all in this together!

Friday, August 6, 2010

The good, the bad and the ugly

It's been a ROUGH couple of months around here, to put it mildly. The kids are at a REALLY tough age. And quite honestly, at this particular point in time, we have WAY more bad days than good. They spend most of their days fighting over toys, spots on the couch, who gets to sit by who in the stroller, what game they want to play, etc. Nothing is simple, everything is a battle, and by the end of night, we are all beat down, and more than one of us is usually crying. Jake and I stay up way too late, because I know as soon as we go to sleep, we will be up all night with someone (oh yeah, did I mention Hudson wakes up every one or two hours through out the night), and then, we wake up for the next day, just to do it all over again. I have debated for a long time whether to write about all this, but this is a journal for my kids, and when they look back at it, I want them to see and remember everything, the good, the bad and the ugly. I don't want them to read this when they have kids and think it was all sunshine, roses, unicorns and rainbows. It's not! It is hard; really, really, really hard. Harder than I ever thought it would be. There are many nights I go to bed feeling like I failed at the only thing I ever wanted to do, raise a family. Did I ever think I would four kids in less than two years, no. Did I ever think my kid would be the one screaming wildly at Wal-Mart, no. Did I ever think people would stop and stare at me and kids anytime we walk into any establishment, putting extra pressure on how I think they should behave, no. Did I ever think I would walk out of "Vera Bradley" because my oldest threw something hitting a kind old lady in the leg, no. But the truth is, this is our world. I wish I could be one of those parents you see at the park or the pool, who just sit and let their kid do whatever they want, it would be so much easier that way. But I'm not, I expect my kids to follow the rules, listen when I'm talking to them, and respect the people around them. That was / is never going to change, so it seemed like I was fighting an endless battle. And then I got a break, and it came at the perfect time.

My mom invited me to Las Vegas. Just her and me, no kids, no husbands, just us. And I must say, it is the best, most refreshing thing I have done since our kids were born, for both me and the kids. It was the first time I had totally let go and didn't worry one time about the kids. Were they behaving themselves? Were they eating well? Were they sleeping well? Were they listening? Did Hudson take his inhaler? Were they happy? Were they having fun? Were they being safe around the pool? Were they being nice to their cousins? All the things that run through my head on a daily basis, I just let go. Which for me, is really, really tough. But I knew they were being well taken care of, so I did it, I let go, and totally enjoyed it. In four days, I read two and a half books, I saw three movies, I saw "La Reve", I laid by the pool, I sat down and ate by myslf, I slept great, spent some alone time with my Mom, and came back a whole new person. The past three days, have been the best days we have had in a LONG time. The kids are happier, they are sleeping great, they are behaving, and not fighting! As I type this, sitting in my big comfy chair, the kids are playing peacefully with each other on the floor with an occasional dance break to a song on the "I-Bot". We just needed a break, from eachother, from our daily routine, from everything we were used to. And with the break, I've come back a better Mom, a better wife, and a better person.

And with faces like this, who wouldn't want to be happy and enjoy the little moments!